2018: Unapologetically Me

2018_Unapologetically Me

Dear 2018,

I’ve been waiting for you for a while now. Despite trying to enjoy every bit of 2017 to the fullest, and  generally having fond memories of the year that has come to its close, I am excited for what’s to come because I have a feeling you’re gonna be by far the best year of my life.

My instincts have told me long time ago. After all, you are the year of the eight. And I like the eight. I was born in a year of two eights.

You are the year when I’m entering a new decade. The first year of my thirties. And I intend to start this new chapter in an epic way.

I intend to use it as a new beginning. No more looking back, just ahead.

…but not as much as to let the present slip away, cause life is happening now.

I know who I am, I know what I want and from now on I shall be living my life and be unapologetically me.

I want the best and I am not afraid to ask for it.

I want the best and I am not afraid to work for it.

I want friendships that last, friendships that are honest and  friendships that might be a little inconvenient sometimes but always unconditional. I’m talking of the Carrie Bradshaw and Miranda Hobbs kind of thing and nothing less will do.

I’m done with waiting for the people to fit me in their plans.

Just be aware – next time you look you might not fit into mine.

I’m done with chasing. Chasing after love, chasing after money, chasing after attention.

The only thing I intend to keep on chasing are my dreams.

Because I aim high – I wanna reach for the stars. And only I am gonna define what the stars are for me.

I want happiness and no regrets.

I want love and I want a man who cannot live without me. A man who’s so crazy about me he goes out of his way just to let me know he loves me.

I want it all – or nothing. And I’m not settling for less.

I wanna keep my heart open, but I shall be more careful as to whom to trust with it.

I want a job that I could love, a job that will inspire me and a job that I would enjoy. Because to me, it is important – and nothing less will do.

I wanna travel the world as well as return to the places I love. I wanna take that annual trip to New York City which costs me fortune but which has become part of who I am and I don’t want to be explaining it to anyone.

I’m done with explaining myself to the world.

And I’m done with defending my decisions.

If you don’t understand me, it’s fine – I don’t understand myself either sometimes, but that’s what makes life fun.

I don’t expect anything from you and what I give I give for free.

The only thing I ask for is to put your limiting believes aside.

If you think I ask for too much, that’s okay. I’m just sorry you think you don’t deserve more.

I wanna keep my rose-tinted glasses on if that’s what you call it. And I wish you could see the world that I see.

Because this year, and in this new decade of my life which is about to come, I’ve come for everything they said I can’t have.

And I’m ready to take it.

Because life is happening now – it’s no rehearsal.

And because some falls are never-ending and I wanna make damn sure that every second of this fall is worth it.

I’m not afraid of failures anymore because all they mean is I’m trying. Can you say the same?

And I don’t feel the need to fit in anywhere nor any of your ideas of normal or sensible or responsible.

Because I am unapaologetically me. And I intend to live my life the way I want. The way that makes sense to me.

That is my promise to you, 2018.

And I’m grateful to you for giving me the chance. The chance of a lifetime.

Sincerely,

Your

M

xx

26 thoughts on “2018: Unapologetically Me

  1. Loved this post so much! It was very relatable to me and so inspiring!
    I also love what you’re about – just makes me more keen to meet you in person 🙂
    My favourite lines:
    “I’m done with chasing. Chasing after love, chasing after money, chasing after attention.
    The only thing I intend to keep on chasing are my dreams.”
    I too love New York and have been there 7 times so I totally get that too x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Monika,
    I loved this post! 🙂 I appreciate the fact that you were very specific about your goals for the new year. I especially love what you wanted out of friendship. In your words, “I want friendships that last, friendships that are honest and  friendships that might be a little inconvenient sometimes but always unconditional.”
    Thank you for sharing!
    Best,
    Christina

    Like

  3. It’s very interesting, the idea of writing oneself a letter. I find this one very thoughtful and honest. Oftentimes when it comes to the new year, people are quick to assume that the next will be great, without ever really trying to change, but I’m glad to see that you know there are obstacles and the only way to overcome them is through or around/over.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Actually, in the past few years I more like thought that the new year is not gonna be great, just more and more obstacles… so, quite happy to be able to shift from that dark thinking back to my ever optimistic way of thinking! Only this time more knowledgable – yes, it will be great, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy!

      Like

  4. When the new year comes, it is so easy to throw out resolutions that oftentimes people will simply not do. I like that you are raw and honest about yourself and have no problem letting others know that just because we aren’t perfect doesn’t mean we can’t attain a goal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! I’m definitely not perfect, and I don’t suit in any ‘normal’ category lol but that doesn’t mean they should judge me and my goals just cause they are different! I don’t judge theirs either – we all need to do what makes us happy!

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  5. You’re right, 2018 is going to be fabulous. Welcome to your 30’s. This decade has been the best of my life! This year is my final year of my 30’s. I can say that in your 30’s you become way more comfortable in your own skin, you know what you want and you’re not afraid to go for it, and you become very bold in this decade of life. Best wishes to a wonderful, enlightening, and fun-filled year!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you!! Everyone keeps saying that and honestly I’m starting to feel it already too! After months and months of being depressed about reaching the big 30, I’m actually pretty excited about it! 😀
      And all the best into your 40s!! I’m pretty sure its gonna be an awesome decade for you 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this post so much! I can really relate to the part of friendship – it is sad, that sometimes friendships feel like trying to achieve something too, or you have to give more than you are getting in return. But then, it is so wonderful when you meet the people with whom you can be at ease, who understand and expect nothing from you, but offer kindness without claims. I am looking for more of those people to have in my life too!

    If you find yourself in London, grab a coffee with me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh,London! I’ve been wanting to go back for a year now and it’s definitely on my list for 2018! I used to go regularly, twice a year at least since my sis lived close by for eight years… but since she’s gone from the UK I’ve been missing it so damn much! So… I’ll keep this in mind!! 🙂
      As for the friendships – you are so right… I just sometimes feel like I’m begging for attention while anything and everything has a priority… especially when kids are involved… or many of my friendships ended simply because somebody did not agree on something with me… oh well… again – I want Carrie Bradshaw and Miranda kind of friendships!! 🙂 those in which you can tell the other you’re stupid, but I’m here for you anyway 🙂

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  7. I am so glad that you have taken this approach to life so have I. There just is no point waiting for other people or wasting time on pointless things. There are so many beautiful things out there to explore and do! I hope this is a brilliant year for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Love this! I am living by a similar thought this year. I want to be fearless in my expression. I want to say the things that are on my mind and not be so afraid of the ramifications. This is especially difficult as a person who makes money by working with brands because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing. At the same time, your audience will appreciate you being unapologetically yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

    • In my case, it’s not as much about being afraid of saying the wrong thing, but more like being totally fed up with explaining myself, explaining why I think this, why I feel that etc. while everybody does this and that… So over it!! 🙂

      Like

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